A few weeks ago, my mother-in-law sent me an e-mail asking for my thoughts on Pope Benedict XVI's resignation. I thought it was unusual, but interesting, so I laid out my thoughts in the semi-organized manner typical of my longer, subject-treating e-mails. She politely thanked me for my thoughts, and that was the end of it.
Unfortunately, it was also one of the few non-acidic comments I have heard on the Catholic Church and the papacy over the last month.
Being Catholic is not easy, even back home. If you are a practicing Catholic who finds yourself in the unhappy situation of having a religious discussion with an uninformed non-Catholic, it frequently morphs into a simultaneous probe of your personal life and assessment of your common sense. "You're Catholic? How does that, like, affect you?" "Wait, you're Catholic? But you seem like such a logical person!" "So do you not believe in birth control?" "Are you guys gonna have, like, a bunch of kids?" "You know the rhythm method doesn't work, right?" (Side note: Catholics don't even use the rhythm method anymore.) "Do you go to confession and stuff?" "Do you really think people go to hell if they don't do that?" Even better is the unsolicited (and usually inappropriate) commentary. "Those Catholic priests are a bunch of perverts." "I think they're pedophiles because they can't get married, so they're totally repressed." (Side note: This theory has no psychological basis whatsoever.) "The Catholic Church hates women." "Those stupid Catholics don't want us to have birth control." The list goes on...and on...and on.
Here in Korea, it's even more difficult. Out of all of the expats we know here in Gwangju, I don't think we know any other Catholics. There is only one Catholic parish I know of that has an English Mass here, and it is an hour away by bus and then subway, which means that we go to Korean Mass where I can only catch every couple of words. It's not that being around areligious people bothers me - most of our good friends here are not really religious, but we still love them dearly and they respect our faith - but it's not uncommon to walk into a bar or restaurant frequented by expats and hear someone who clearly knows everything ranting entirely too loudly about how they love all people and accept all lifestyles and that Catholics/Christians/Muslims are so narrow-minded/intolerant/hateful/bigoted/judgmental/condescending/insert-negative-adjective-here that it just makes them sick. As if every person who adheres to an Abrahamic faith is exactly the same.
The election of a new pope is no different. I remember in 2005, when John Paul II finally passed on, I got a loving text message from my brother informing me that "Hey your pope died." To be fair, it was a joke, and he was in high school at the time - but frankly, the things I see people my age posting to Facebook now aren't much more enlightened.
"Check out the new pope - same as the old pope!"
"You've gone to hell, Catholic Church...I thought we were saved when the sky didn't fall in December, but apparently the end of the world has finally arrived."
"The new pope is on the front page. Just what the world needs - another lunatic running the masses."
Never mind that he has come to be known for his personal piety and humility. Or that he was especially active in interfaith dialogue and ecumenism as the Archbishop of Buenos Aires. Or that he lived in a small apartment, rather than the bishop's residence, and cooked his own meals and took the bus to work. Or that he has worked for social justice and poverty alleviation for most of his career. The next day after Cardinal Bergoglio (now Pope Francis I) was elected, I saw a headline that read, "Will the new pope derail the [UN] Commission on the Status of Women?" The man hadn't been in office for 24 hours, much less even made a public statement. Guys, really?
To be fair, most of our friends who have discussed this with me have been level-headed and delicate (probably because they could tell I was upset). But it just gets under my skin to see all of these hateful and condescending messages from people who typically preach messages of human rights, justice, acceptance, and equality. The Catholic Church has two millenia of history of Doctors of the Church arguing and squabbling over theology and doctrine. Today it is made up of 1.2 billion people, all with different beliefs, opinions, hopes, and dreams. Some of us are pro-life and some pro-choice; some are conservative and some support same-sex marriage; some are traditionalists and some believe in feminist liberation theology; some practice more and some practice less. We are clergy, laity, rich, poor, professionals, housewives, travelers, vagabonds, scholars, lobbyists, and politicians. But the one thing we all have in common with each other and with every non-Catholic that walks this Earth is that we are human. And frankly, if you believe in love of any kind, then you should respect our right to choose a lifestyle without judgment, just like every woman, homosexual, immigrant, ethnic minority, and overweight person that is so carefully defended.
Yes, we have a new pope. Seriously, people, let's everybody just calm the fuck down.
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