I have been studying Japanese on and off for nearly four years now. Language self-study comes with its own unique challenges, and it requires a special kind of discipline, but I would say that I haven't done too badly for myself - I have a Japanese conversation partner who lives outside of Tokyo that I Skype with about twice a week, and she assures me that my Japanese is pretty good. (Taking into consideration that she is Japanese, and is unfailingly polite, I am not quite sure how much salt I should take it with, but I will still take it.) One of the interesting things that comes with language self-study in this age, however, is the online community of people that are learning the same language. You can find some really awesome resources on the forums of language-learning website, and they are an amazing trove of information about the country and culture, particularly the Japanese language learning community. I am not as plugged into it as I once was, but I used to browse those forums almost every day looking for podcasts and places to practice reading and memorizing things like hiragana and katakana.
Along with actual language resources, there was a lot of commentary on Japanese people, their culture and mannerisms, and what it was like for foreigners (particularly Westerners) to live and work in Japan. One thing that I thought was very interesting to read were accounts of reactions that people got to their ability to speak Japanese. Expats always assured learners that any effort to speak Japanese would be greeted with pleasant surprise and would make things easier, but some people found it annoying after a while. One guy posted a comment that the common Japanese reaction to a foreigner speaking the language was shock and a kind of bizarre fascination, sort of like "Wow, look - that dog can do math!"
Some days, we feel the same way about how some of our Korean co-workers treat us. Obviously we know that none of it is intended to be malicious or rude - they are concerned for our general well-being, and they know that life in a foreign country can be overwhelming at times, so I am sure that it is all meant to be helpful. Nonetheless, some days we really wonder if they think we are completely incompetent and helpless.
For example, one day at work my husband was talking to one of our newer American co-workers in the small office (my desk is in the big office).
Megan: Hey, what's the Korean word for 'no'?
Husband: It's 아니요 [aniyo].
Korean co-worker: [shocked] How do you know that?!
Husband: Well, I've been studying Korean for the past four months.
KC: What?! You are studying Korean?!!
Husband: Yeah. I understand a lot more than most of you think I do.
He relayed an even more interesting conversation with a different co-worker that happened that same week.
KC: So what did you do this weekend, Joel?
Husband: Oh, I went downtown and just hung out with people.
KC: Oh, you mean people from work?
Husband: No, some of my other friends.
KC: [shocked] You have friends?
Husband: Yeah...
KC: Are they other foreigners?
Husband: Some are foreigners, some are Korean.
KC: [incredulous] You have Korean friends?
Husband: Yes...
KC: ...How?
This conversation was pretty shocking to the rest of our Western co-workers when Joel retold it, and he was (understandably) mildly insulted by the suggestion that he would be unable to make friends. But our Korean co-workers are generally very nice people, and I don't believe they mean to suggest that we are helpless. Still, we get this kind of reaction all the time; most of them were blown away that Joel and I explored the city our first weekend here, or that we were able to find our way around to any restaurants at all. We figured that they had visions of us cowering in our apartment and subsisting off of the bread, jam, and choco pies that our employer bought us.
The whole experience has gotten me thinking a lot about how these kinds of attitudes and preconceptions can marginalize people. While we try to be understanding and give people the benefit of the doubt, it is insulting to encounter the constant shock that we, as immigrants, are able to do simple things for ourselves, or that we would try to learn the language (in fact, many Koreans are completely floored that we even know how to read). WeI were talking about it earlier this week, and how frustrating it is for people to assume that we would be the kinds of expats who don't want to learn about the culture we are in and refuse to try to do things on our own. Then I asked him, "Do we do that to people back home?"
"To a certain extent, yes."
"But to whom? To immigrants? I never felt like I acted that way toward foreigners."
"You do that to just about anybody who is different from you. Maybe we don't do it so much with immigrants, but to minorities. Think of how frustrating it would be for an educated Black person to talk to someone who was shocked that they had a degree. Like, 'You graduated from college? You wentto college?' No one does it on purpose, but it's a natural reaction to someone who is different from you."
I found the prospect highly disturbing. How many stereotypes do we carry around with us subconsciously, especially if we are from a racial or ethnic majority, that affect the way we talk to and treat people? What does it do to a person's self-esteem if they have to take those kinds of comments their entire life? And how would those kinds of attitudes affect my work in public health?
My husband let me bounce my thoughts off of him for the next hour or so, and then he smiled (with only a hint of mirth) and touched my arm. "Well, this is how you become a better person." Then he got a little more serious. "It's good that you are thinking about this so much. Sometimes I can be too cavalier about it."
No comments:
Post a Comment